Hey everyone!
Hope your week went well. We’ve been having some interesting weather here in Roseville, CA — a heatwave with temps of up to 115°, and today it’s raining and about 65°. I hope this means fall really is around the corner. It’s my favorite season!
This weekend, I took some time to declutter both my physical office space, as well as my mental space. I’ve found that when I don’t feel like I’m busy enough, I find a lot of things to fill it with. Then I get overwhelmed and want to run away from it all or risk burning out. My therapist gave me an analogy of a valve to work with. The idea is to pay attention to how I feel throughout my day and whether I need to release the pressure, or build it up. How much effort and energy do I want to expend? Do I need to adjust it? By putting this into practice, I’ve found I’m starting to find peace throughout my day easier.
If you're like me and tend to be too busy or not busy enough (and get really antsy about it), here are a few practical tips that have helped me adjust the valve:
If you’re not busy enough: Find a low-pressure project with a target date. I was in the toy section of Target with my kids and stumbled upon a really gorgeous, 1000-piece puzzle. I gave myself a month to complete it. It ended up taking me a week because I consistently found time to work on it in small chunks, finding opportunities to work on it during lunch breaks and evenings while genuinely enjoying the ability to walk away from it when I hit a wall. It felt great to only work on it when I felt like it. An added bonus was that it also got me out of my own head when my default was to think about work when I wasn’t working, or run into analysis paralysis trying to figure out something deeply meaningful to do with my time. As I was finishing my puzzle, I was subconsciously having fun figuring out other projects that could be fun and meaningful in a low-pressure way.
If you’re too busy: Identify your values, and gut check everything that is keeping you busy. A friend once said that you need to try and limit yourself to five projects at any one time, and I agree with this. While you may consider ongoing projects to be ‘work’ and ‘family,’ I’m not talking about whether you are choosing between work or family, but rather, where you’re going to be an A+ student, giving 110% in any area of your life at one time. (Hot tip: It isn’t going to be all of the projects, all of the time.) Maybe this week isn’t the week to give an important presentation, volunteer to be art docent for your kid’s kindergarten class, and try to cook elaborate, healthy dinners each night. Make the decisions that are right for you based on what you value and what would fill your own bucket the most. There may be creative workarounds as to what is taking up your time, or how you show up. Can you delegate? Negotiate deadlines? Be okay with putting in 70% effort in something instead of 100%? These are all within your realm of control. You’ll want to find the balance in a way that honors you, and it may require re-establishing boundaries and being clear and confident. (Btw, check out my YouTube channel for videos on how to do this!)
Keeping the balance: Actively build the awareness to stay “just busy enough”. Whether a valve, see-saw, juggling, or any other analogies come to mind that help you visualize balance (and if you have one I didn’t cover here, let me know!), remember that there is nothing inherently wrong with being ambitious and proactive, nor is there anything inherently wrong with having a day to yourself and doing nothing productive. No one is breathing down your back judging you. And if they are, their opinion doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. :)
Closing thoughts: When you know what is worth dropping and are clear on your why, you will feel a lot more confident in how you approach your decision of how you want to adjust the valve. Also, keep it in perspective: One day is not indicative of your whole reputation, unneeded pressure, and your health. You'll always be harder on yourself than others will be. At the end of the day, you can say “I have enough for now.”
Enjoy this newsletter? I’d love to hear from you! What questions or topics would you like me to cover? Reply and let me know!