I hope all of you had a wonderful summer!
I’m planning to pick this up bi-weekly again, with room for forgiveness if I miss a week (bi-week?). I’ve been on my own journey of self-discovery, and one of the insights I had was that I miss writing these.
For now, I’ll keep it casual with a few key takeaways from whatever’s top of mind for me.
So, where have I been the last few (six!) months?
I was in a lot of pain from March-May, finally getting diagnosed with Hashimoto’s Disease. Apparently it’s common, and will most likely lead to hypothyroid or other autoimmune disorders long-term. Right now, I’m able to mitigate the pain by lifestyle changes: reducing stress, exercising, and most importantly, changing my diet. I’ve removed meat (except fish and eggs), refined sugar, and alcohol from my daily meals, and it’s made a world of difference.
Because of my undiagnosed health issues, I stopped all content creation: YouTube videos, podcasts, Instagram posts, Medium articles, and this newsletter. Funnily enough, I thought that once my health was manageable again I’d go right into it, but it didn’t fill me up like it used to. And who wants to do things that don’t light you up? I went through a grieving process and loss of identity around this, I kid you not.
The next three months post-diagnosis I focused on my mental well-being. I immersed myself in new things like acupuncture and therapy, and spent more time being present with the family during the kids’ summer break (trip to Alcatraz, teaching them Star Wars songs on the piano, and playing any games they would invent). I took a few classes for fun like writing romance novels, and tried new things creatively without trying to be a perfectionist: I made large collage installations in the house of paper butterflies and feathers, a 1:32 scale miniature room, and now I’m on my current project of creating a miniature modern house from scratch (except for the house part). I’ve also developed an obsession for Mini Brands, and my family is now also obsessed!
Do I have it all figured out? Not at all. As someone with a recovering Type A personality, it’s been frustrating. I’ve felt like I’ve been wandering these last six months, and thought I really would have figured it all out. If it’s not content creation, then what? I don’t know what’s next for me, and it’s scary. I’m only now starting to accept that it’s okay to not have it all figured out, and that being present is all that matters.
Insights
Do you feel stuck where you are right now, and need some clarity? Here’s how I got the fog to lift:
Follow your curiosity: I can’t stress this enough. I’m in love with my miniature house project, and would never have known this if I didn’t let myself try a bunch of different things. Creating paper flowers, creating a collage, having an idea to draw it in a small scale, to recreating it as art inside a miniature house…this all took months for me to discover this project through continuously asking myself “What do I do now?”. If you remove the pressure to invest your time in something that has to be perfect, meaningful, or can be sold for money, then it will be much easier to follow that voice inside of you that says, “What if we tried this?” Follow that voice until you get to your destination.
Be vulnerable and open-minded: I was apprehensive of acupuncture (I hate needles!) and therapy when I was seeking out ways to reduce stress and improve my mental well-being. People I trusted strongly recommended these treatments, and I’m much better for having listened to them and being open-minded enough to give them a chance. The same went for trying new things creatively — I did a lot of things that felt uncomfortable and that I lacked confidence in, but I put that aside and kept working towards my vision. Again and again.
Say no to things that aren’t a 100% yes: This is something I’m still constantly practicing. I enjoy shopping, and I challenged myself to be more savvy with finances over the last few months. I also discovered my local Buy Nothing group, where folks in the community gift items or seek items that others aren’t using before making the purchase themselves. Through these two outlets I’ve channeled my “spending” energy into gifting or receiving gifts, and checking in with myself before I make purchases. I’m also applying restraint into my schedule, my work priorities, and to see if opportunities are a good fit or not.
So there you have it. I don’t know if I’ll create content other than writing again, and I also have a lot of personal creative projects to keep me busy in a lights-me-up kind of way. I can spend more time with my kids and free up my mental capacity by keeping my calendar more clear.
I also keep coming back to this thought: This season is just a phase of my life and I may wake up tomorrow with full clarity of what’s next for me. And if I don’t, the present moment is just as nice of a place to live in now.
Feel free to email me at lia@swishie.com if there’s anything you want me to cover: being a woman of color in tech, motherhood, career & leadership, and staying in tune with your inner creative self.