"Anxiety is the intolerance of distress."
Coping with two faces of anxiety: Preventing burnout and processing the recent tragic events in the AAPI community
Today’s newsletter is a reflection of the two facets of anxiety I’ve been experiencing recently.
Anxiety can stem from feeling you’re not doing enough, such as when you’ve gone all in on “hustle culture.” Seeking purpose and growth opportunities is great, but just like anything, too much of it can feel like being in a pressure cooker. In my most recent podcast episode with Hannah Martin (she/they), we talk about a great mindset shift to combat burnout. Scroll below for the audio clip and transcript. This episode is also where Hannah shared the “anxiety is the intolerance of distress” quote in today’s newsletter title.
Earlier this week, you may have heard about the tragic death of Christina Yuna Lee, which follows the tragic death of Michelle Go just a month ago. These two senseless events have left the AAPI community in shock, and personally, has skyrocketed my own feelings of feeling unsafe and fearing for my well-being no matter what I do— specifically as an Asian-American woman. These women could have been me or someone I know, and I’m tired of feeling unsafe no matter what precautions I take.
For anyone here who is suffering from anxiety, whether that’s from feeling afraid, helpless, or unsafe simply because of how you look or feeling like you needed to do more to be worthy, know this: You are enough. You are not alone.
Talk to someone you trust, and give yourself a break — take the day off from work, social media, and all the “shoulds” on your to-do list. Acknowledge when you know it’s happening, and hold space for yourself. Be kind to yourself.
💖 Lia
In podcast episode 8, I chat with Hannah Martin (creator of WOC Space Collective, and podcast host at Thot Leadership) about transitions, sustainable work, and enjoying the journey.
In this snippet, we talk about breaking away from hustle culture, and what Hannah says that makes me rethink my interview questions. If you're burnt out, maybe this simple mindset shift is just what you need!
Transcript:
Lia: So when did you become more intentional about how you lived your life?
Hannah: This is a great question. I think I've always been really self-aware, but a lot of the time I can let that veer into an anxiety-ridden existence.
H: I just read this today and it blew my mind. It said, “anxiety is the intolerance of distress.” And that blew my mind. Like it's so simply said, but also I think living such an intentional life has a lot to do with having that learning mindset because it's about being okay when things don't go right. And knowing and trusting myself to be able to figure it out.
And I think so frequently, this kind of learning mindset is framed through this lens of hustle culture: if you keep learning, you're going to get something out of it. It's a very productive, kind of capitalistic, view. And for me, it's like, no, if you keep learning, you get to enjoy it.
L: I need to hear that!
H: Yeah. It's been more the journey of just I have this one life to live (and not to be like, live, laugh, love all over your podcast) but I have this one life to live and it's up to me to enjoy it. It doesn't matter what I really accomplish at the end of the day, but it's how I feel about it. So for me, it's being more in that pursuit of just being happy with what I am learning. So I think I've always been that way. It's been learning what that means for me and like why I go about my life that way, if that makes sense.
L: Yeah. I mean, that's such a great perspective. Actually, that's what I've been struggling with this year in terms of 2022, because every year I would come up with a word or an intention and I struggled so hard a few weeks ago. I finally just let it go. Why am I putting this pressure on myself? I've been so busy. Like even now, like, I don't know. I feel like I'm just kind of floating this year, and maybe that's the point.
H: Yeah. I saw this other thing that really helped me with that, of like, there's this very capitalistic view to be like, we're always constantly chasing our purpose. What's my purpose in life? The idea that you're here to do something. There's more kind of like this native or Indigenous perspective that's like, no, you have the same purpose as a plant. It's just to be. Like, just be. That's all you have to do. And that really helped me. It took me a couple of weeks, maybe a couple months to really, truly accept that and be like, what if I just was today. And that doesn't mean I'm not going to do anything, but I just am. You know? That really helped me to kind of process through that, too.
L: I love that because when you think of a plant, they just bloom naturally. They don’t try so hard to grow.
H: And no one’s like what a bad tree, they're like, oh wow. That tree did what it did in that place with what it had. Cool.
L: Yeah. And it doesn't have to be perfect. It doesn't have to. Part of the beauty of it is that it doesn't look so symmetrical or whatever it is.
H: The tree just does what it knows how to do.
L: Exactly. Now you're making me rethink all these questions.
Intrigued about the rest of the conversation? Tune in swishie.com for the full episode.
🎨 Need motivation to create? Join me next month, Saturday, March 12 with the intention of doing something creative for an hour. I’ll provide a prompt, and you’re welcome to work on your own creative project. RSVP at Creative hour & mimosas.