I rang in the new year reading Thicker Than Water, Kerry Washington’s memoir. I watched all seven seasons of Scandal and can’t help but think “Olivia Pope” when I think Kerry Washington, but reading her memoir gave me so much more perspective. The theme is about family and her relationship to her parents, uncovering truths along the way and figuring herself out, too. It was interesting to hear how she became her characters when she acted, and by making them more real — thinking of how they would eat and exercise, approach situations — she would grow in her own life, too.
I recommend this book if you’re into memoirs. Reading memoirs has been a recent evolution for me, by the way. I used to think, “I have enough going on in my own life, why do I need to read about other people’s?” But in the last year I’ve cultivated a sense of curiosity and wondering: How many others think like me, and what makes me unique? How many move through life with different life lessons that I have based on the situations they’ve encountered? How might I get exposed to situations I have yet to (or hopefully will never have to) encounter, and how might I learn more about myself that way?
We’ll never encounter all the things, and those who have come before us in certain situations can pave the way. There is something so intrinsically human about the shared narrative. And these types of conversations don’t just casually come up.
I suppose it’s what I did when I interviewed amazing women for the Swishie podcast, and why I love to catch up with friends in general. To share things I’ve learned along the way, and learn from others. Sometimes, it’s the realization that I have an opinion about a topic or situation that I would never have uncovered otherwise, and that’s where the learning happens.
This year, I’ve decided to not pressure myself with resolutions, goals, or one-word intentions for the year. Instead, I’m going to “feel” things out. It’s a stark contrast from what I’m used to doing - every December it had become a ritual to take days or even weeks to self-reflect, and manifest some directed hope for what the following year will bring.
So in 2024, I’m winging it. It’s both freeing and fearful - I thrive on intrinsic motivation, purpose, and mission. So it definitely feels like I’m falling with nothing to grab onto. Very eyes-wide-open-and-flailing type deal.
And sometimes, it’s what we fear the most is what we need.
I want to share some of my halfway-through-January learnings in the spirit of sharing experiences:
The new year is the perfect time to reach out to friends and past co-workers. Reach out and say “Happy New Year” and follow up on where you left off last year - holiday plans, did they get the job, how’s it going…now is the perfect time to do so. Friends are also good for mental health, improved stress response, and well-being and longevity in this article about the science of why friendships keep us healthy. I’ve caught up/will catch up with at least 6 people this month and am looking forward to each one.
From the article: “We learn surprising things when we have unplanned encounters and conversations with people,” a benefit that people tend to underestimate.
I went to the grocery store the other day without makeup or even looking at a mirror before leaving the house. Scary? Yes. Freeing? Also yes. It was a gloomy, overcast day and one of those “I’d rather be home, and I also just need milk” days. I don’t know if I’ll do it too often…or why I feel the need to nowadays. It’s funny what rituals we hang on to to feel confident. (Is this a tell that my partner usually does all of the groceries?)
I’m owning my age. I turn 40 later this year, and am finally understanding why people say this decade is the best one yet — you really start to care less about what others think. It’s the first time I mentioned my age at work without anyone asking, in response to something I’m looking forward to this year. I wonder if once I turn 40 I magically will be confident at grocery stores without makeup? Time will tell.
Anyway, I’d love to hear your stories and experiences, so feel free to hit reply and share with me! And I hope 2024 is off to a good start for you.
Cheers,
Lia
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Still here? Nice! 🙌 Here’s something to reflect on…
✨ In my art program, I’m learning to find my creative voice. One of the exercises is to create a journal of your personal symbolism: animals, numbers, themes, interior design, geometric and organic shapes, etc. that are meaningful to you and notes about why.✨
What would you find if you created your own journal of your personal symbols?
🎨 What’s on the canvas
In flight (2023), 30x40 oil painting by Lia Fetterhoff
A journey of finding my voice and exploring what's possible.